A letter from Mom

A letter from Mom

Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20
Miles of your home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last
West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers
When they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine.
I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain.
We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put
Them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really
Worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what
It is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull
Him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.
Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety.
Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they
Couldn't get the tailgate down!
There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom

5 Comments

4 years 30 weeks ago, 12:25 AM

ecaman

ecaman's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2613
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Payson, UT, United States
Letter from Mom

This could be any one of a number of families in and around my home town.
I knew a guy who wore 2 watches, one to keep Dallas time, the other to keep Wichita Falls time. (WF is about 125 nearly due north of Dallas.)

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
4 years 30 weeks ago, 12:33 AM

greg az

greg az's picture

Rank:
Secretary of Homeland Security
Points:
5873
Join Date:
Oct 2009
Location:
New York, NY, Israel

Past time.. night all.. kowalski maybe ...Walt Kowalski... was that him.. later friends..

a man has to hold his word, hold his beliefs, and hold a good sight picture.
4 years 30 weeks ago, 12:35 AM

ecaman

ecaman's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2613
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Payson, UT, United States
Greg

Sleep well.
I'm not very tired tonite. Boy, did I sleep last nite! It was 1:29 PM by my alarm clock when I woke up today. Oops!

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
4 years 30 weeks ago, 12:57 AM

ACE

ACE's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1501
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
Puryear, Tennessee, United States

I actually know some people who live in Arkansas, (my ex's family, and him also) That would soooo do this!!! OMG!! This is great... I gotta pass this on on to some friends of mine!!! Thanks Sam for posting it!!!

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”- George Washington
4 years 30 weeks ago, 1:30 AM

ecaman

ecaman's picture

Rank:
General
Points:
2613
Join Date:
Jul 2009
Location:
Payson, UT, United States
ACE

You can find these people everywhere. They're what used to be called "simple." They used to be found almost altogether out in the country, where they'd try to farm. They tended to be rather isolated, mostly by their choice, totally unsophisticated, mostly poorly educated, hence "ignorant", generally poor. When I was young they could be found all throughout the rural areas of TX and OK.
I knew this one family with 18 kids. They had a doctor in for the first one, and decided that it had been a waste of money. After that the wife would maybe have a neighbor lady or two, or if it was too much trouble to get anybody she'd just deliver the kid herself, clean them both up, and get on with her work. The husband told me that there were a few times when he'd left the house in the morning to go plow, and when he came in for a meal his wife would show him the new kid. And she'd have a meal ready for him and the rest of the kids!
I could tell more stories about the people like this that I used to know, but nobody would believe me.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
samD's picture
Posted by: samD
4 years 30 weeks ago
Views:
734
Comments:
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