LUCY COLLETT

LUCY COLLETT

Bob was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily.
“What’s up Bob?” asked the bartender … It’s not like you to be so down in the mouth.”
“It’s my five year old son …” Bob replied.
“Don't tell me, he’s in trouble for fighting in school? – my lad’s just the same – forget about it; it happens to boys that age,” said the bartender, sympathetically.
“ I only wish it was that,” continued the customer, “ but it’s far worse than that. The little devil has got our gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbor pregnant.”

Get away, that’s impossible!” gasped the bartender.
“It’s not,” said the man. "The little bastard stuck a pin in all my condoms.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Australian Telephone Operator: "G'day mate .... Helpline here ..... What's the problem?"
Caller: "I'm in the Outback with the girlfriend and she's been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!"
Australian Telephone Operator: "Bummer!"
Caller: "Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”

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