Ways To Piss Off A Woman!
1) In the most romantic setting possible, lean close & whisper in her
ear "Upside down and in the dark all women smell the same."
2) Use her bra as a slingshot.
3) Tie her to the bed, describe all the erotic things you plan to do.
Then go bowling.
4) Convince her that you're having an affair. Once you've got her
thoroughly convinced, say you were just kidding.
5) Ask why she doesn't fill up with water when she takes a bath.
6) Say, "Hell no that dress doesn't make your ass look fat. You've got
a fat ass."
7) Walk around with a very large grin. When she asks what it is, start
crying and say, "Nothing. Never mind." Run to the bedroom and slam the
8) Read her this list.
9) Ask her to bend over and see if you can use her to open your bottle
10) Tell her YOU have a headache, but you are willing to suffer with it
through sex just to please her.
11) Re-arrange the dishes in the cabinets.
12) Ask her how she prepared a meal. If she wants to know why you want
to know, say "So I don't make the same mistakes."
13) Tell her you're thinking about becoming a dairy farmer and you need
to practice on her.
14) If she mentions commitment/marriage, mention anal group sex in the
same tone of voice.
15) Tell her women have two holes so close together so you can carry
'em like six-packs.
16) Tell her she's your love buffet, but the doctor has put you on a
crash diet because of a heart condition.
17) Imitate her having an orgasm while dining out.
18) Fake your own orgasm while dining out.
19) When meeting her parents, ask her Mom out.
20) Or, ask her Dad out.
21) Or, ask both of 'em to join you later that night.
22) Tell her you've applied for the position of blowjob inspector at
the nearest whorehouse.
23) Scream your own name during sex.
24) Ask what her name is in the middle of sex. Tell her you need to
know what to scream.
25) Tell her that her best friend was a better lay. If she protests,
say "All right. We'll have a screwing contest between the two of you."
26) After sex tell her the doctor assured you it isn't contagious. Then
27) Say "Hell yes size matters! Look at the Grand Canyon."
28) Tell her it's Saint Jism day and your religion requires you receive
a blowjob every hour for the next 24 hours.
29) While slow-dancing, drool on her back.
30) Tell her you need to borrow a bra to play golf/tennis/poker,etc.
because you lost your jock strap.