Now for "How to piss off a woman"

Now for "How to piss off a woman"

Ways To Piss Off A Woman!

1) In the most romantic setting possible, lean close & whisper in her
ear "Upside down and in the dark all women smell the same."

2) Use her bra as a slingshot.

3) Tie her to the bed, describe all the erotic things you plan to do.
Then go bowling.

4) Convince her that you're having an affair. Once you've got her
thoroughly convinced, say you were just kidding.

5) Ask why she doesn't fill up with water when she takes a bath.

6) Say, "Hell no that dress doesn't make your ass look fat. You've got
a fat ass."

7) Walk around with a very large grin. When she asks what it is, start
crying and say, "Nothing. Never mind." Run to the bedroom and slam the
door.

8) Read her this list.

9) Ask her to bend over and see if you can use her to open your bottle
of beer.

10) Tell her YOU have a headache, but you are willing to suffer with it
through sex just to please her.

11) Re-arrange the dishes in the cabinets.

12) Ask her how she prepared a meal. If she wants to know why you want
to know, say "So I don't make the same mistakes."

13) Tell her you're thinking about becoming a dairy farmer and you need
to practice on her.

14) If she mentions commitment/marriage, mention anal group sex in the
same tone of voice.

15) Tell her women have two holes so close together so you can carry
'em like six-packs.

16) Tell her she's your love buffet, but the doctor has put you on a
crash diet because of a heart condition.

17) Imitate her having an orgasm while dining out.

18) Fake your own orgasm while dining out.

19) When meeting her parents, ask her Mom out.

20) Or, ask her Dad out.

21) Or, ask both of 'em to join you later that night.

22) Tell her you've applied for the position of blowjob inspector at
the nearest whorehouse.

23) Scream your own name during sex.

24) Ask what her name is in the middle of sex. Tell her you need to
know what to scream.

25) Tell her that her best friend was a better lay. If she protests,
say "All right. We'll have a screwing contest between the two of you."

26) After sex tell her the doctor assured you it isn't contagious. Then
faint.

27) Say "Hell yes size matters! Look at the Grand Canyon."

28) Tell her it's Saint Jism day and your religion requires you receive
a blowjob every hour for the next 24 hours.

29) While slow-dancing, drool on her back.

30) Tell her you need to borrow a bra to play golf/tennis/poker,etc.
because you lost your jock strap.

3 Comments

3 years 36 weeks ago, 12:24 PM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh
Jeff's Check list

I can check a few of these off!!

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
2 years 15 weeks ago, 5:30 AM

J3T3RArmy

J3T3RArmy's picture

Rank:
Colonel
Points:
184
Join Date:
Apr 2012
Location:
Arcadia, FL, United States

i can show her a big one

5 weeks 5 days ago, 6:39 PM

blueknight77

blueknight77's picture

Rank:
Major
Points:
48
Join Date:
Jan 2013

The fellow cops I know who would never take your weapons. We believe in the 2nd Amendment. We need a change in Washington, Guys and Gals fellow shooters, we need to take America back. We got to pass the word and not give up. I am a firearms instructor for my department, Concealed handgun instructor, I attended the 5th CHL class in Austin Texas in 1995 and have been teaching sense then. Hell yea I believe in citizens carrying, open carry too. I believe it should be up to the individual, but remember we are not riding horses any more, so you can't see who's following you that easily. What I mean is, if you carry a rifle slung across your chest or back and or open carry, what if some dirt bag see's you and think's "Oh I like that gun" and when you don't see him knocks your butt out and takes your weapons. I agree with carrying weapons, but lets use our brains a little and carry them discrete. One they are scaring people and they see them as the bad guy and not the good guy he is. If you want to educate people pass out info papers at malls and stores. Guys and Gals we got to take are county back this next election.

Jeffashbyjr's picture
Posted by: Jeffashbyjr
3 years 36 weeks ago
Views:
1,809
Comments:
3

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