Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) -
Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.
"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong." The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer, "motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it.ergo, they should stop."
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads."
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation; however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.
"That's preposterous," said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.
14 Comments
dockit
"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"
Sweet, this should happen to all these idiots.
greg az
Pretty much sure this is just that tho.. Spent years going on runs and sure Lucky would agree with me here... i never met a tramp bro who would ever even SAY "la trene" much less know what it means.. great story tho..
HampsterW
are right greg, I can not fathom anyone being stupid enough to actually attempt something like this....Yep, just a story.
Anonymous
Hi - and I wish I had saw that and after knocking another tree hugging fagait out, I could have with the boys in Pigfest, hung him up like a dressed out wild pig all day. But sherriff was there too, but I never got in any trouble till the idiot pressed charges and I paid a no- contest ticket for 120.00, only so I would not have any problems with Texas State when I go back or thru, but that is one of the coolest get-backs I have ever seen. My compliments! JLC
Bigshot Nobody
I'd would have painted them purple.
OozeRat
A guy at work told me this story awhile ago said his cousins brothers uncles cousin or something like that was one of the bikers. I still laugh every time I hear or read this though.
Jeffashbyjr
I could belive the duct taping them to a tree and fast food dumpster but the peeing and farting I don't belive but the story is still funny
Lyle Hutchins 1
Bikers, pee'n, fart'n, duct tape, shit you guys just when I'm beliven every thing, ya gotta through a Monkey Wrench in tah whole damn story!!! Can't cha just let me belive this??
If I were there I would have PISSED, on um with great pride!! GREAT PRIDE!!! NOT gay PRIDE!!! lets keep that Stright!!! Fart?? Yes!! But I would have had sat on there face, with there nose in my butt crack an gave um a really good one!!! and sat there for a minute or so so's they could get the HOLE effect!!! Don't want to waste any preacise gasses!!!
BUT THat's just me. : )
Lyle
HKBauer
Sound like suicide to me, but then again the are the same people who want to ban fishing cause it is painful to the fish to be hooked....Mucho Stupido!
Saint J.M. Browning
That was great! Even if it is just a story, funny as hell.
ice.queen
They should have known better. That's not some upscale fashion show that will put up with their pansy asses. 1001 uses for duct tape just added 1 more. I got a new pair of chaps for Christmas, and sorry but not only do I feel warmer and safer, looks pretty good too. Keeping my leathers.
Ishootdaily
I haven't made Chaps yet, but the next major project will be exactly that. Holsters are getting boring, Chaps and a Vest...
TXLUCKYGUY
1. Has to be just a story....know plenty of local bikers, mostly salt of the earth Patriot Guard types, but NONE of them would ever use the word 'inclusive'.
2. Chaps....want to get TBH a pair but they never list the inseam. She has a 36" inseam but the L-XL sizes are wayyyyyyy to big for her sizewise.
Ishootdaily
CHAPS THIGH SIZE CHART
XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL 6XL
19" 20.5" 22" 23" 24" 25" 26" 27" 28" 29"
Using a cloth seamstress style measuring tape, measure the largest part of your thigh, normally about 2-3 inches down from the crease of your thigh (where you thigh bends). Measure while you are wearing your jeans or any other pants you will normally wear UNDER your chaps. If possible, have someone help you measure and measure several times for accuracy.
Take your measurement, for example if your measurement was 24 inches then add 1 to 2 inches to that measurement which would equal 25-26 inches. From the chart you would choose a size 2XL or 3XL.
The size you choose whether ONE or TWO inches higher than your actual thigh measurement depends on whether you like your chaps a little tighter fitting or if you like a looser fit. Like with jeans, everyone has a preference, some people like to wear tight jeans, and some like looser baggy jeans. There is no wrong way to wear your chaps, it's just all personal preference.
Please measure accurately and you will get a good fitting set of chaps!
Remember, the chap size chart shows the measurement of the thigh of the CHAPS THEMSELVES. You must measure YOUR thigh, then add one to two inches to YOUR THIGH measurement and choose your size accordingly. We are not responsible if you do not measure correctly. Please have someone help you if possible. If you are still unsure of how to measure for chaps, you can contact us with your questions. Please include the item number and be specific about your questions and I'll do my best to help you.
http://www.leatherlollipop.com/pd-naked-leather-chaps-with-one-panel-leg...