The story of Uncle Bob

The story of Uncle Bob

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess"

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."

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8 Comments

6 years 28 weeks ago, 7:36 PM

photobear6

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roflmao

good one snake

America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!
6 years 28 weeks ago, 7:47 PM

zx12rmike

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very funny

very funny

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
6 years 28 weeks ago, 8:23 PM

Lyle Hutchins 1

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The story of Uncle Bob

"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
YEA!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!! funny !!!!!!
Lyle

Lyle Hutchinson
6 years 28 weeks ago, 8:39 PM

hillbilly77

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Great one snake.

I would like to buy Uncle Bob a bottle of whiskey and send him to the oval office.

“If ever time should come,when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in government, our country will stand in need of it's experienced Patriots to prevent it's ruin."Samuel Adams
6 years 28 weeks ago, 8:53 PM

Anonymous

lol

agreed!

6 years 28 weeks ago, 10:11 PM

ecaman

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Good one, Snake!

I love surprise punch lines.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain).
6 years 28 weeks ago, 7:50 AM

HampsterW

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Excellent snake,

very funny!

Change you can truly believe in comes from the barrel of a gun---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Paul 2012----Vote the bastards out!---------------------------------
6 years 28 weeks ago, 10:12 AM

Pkato

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Good one Snake

I have an uncle Rocky...you don't want to mess with him either, but for another reason...he starts slurring really bad, spitting while talking and on occasion will piss himself after too many. Those that can't handle their alcohol should not drink!

Patrolman Kato
Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself.
They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone
under independence. -- George Washington
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6 years 28 weeks ago
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