Tirade

Tirade

An Officer stopped a driver for running a red light. The guy was a real jerk and came running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

The officer calmly told him of the red light violation.

The "Motorist" instantly went on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.

The tirade went on for several minutes without the officer saying anything.

When the officer finished writing the ticket he put an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then handed it to the "Violator" for his signature.

The guy signed the ticket angrily and when presented with his copy pointed to the "AH" and demands to know what it stood for.

The Mountie said, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an Asshole!"

Two months later they were in court. The "Violator" has such a bad driving record he is about to lose his license and had hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testified to seeing the man run the red light.

Under cross examination the defense attorney asked; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my client?"

Officer responded, "Yes sir, that is the defendants copy, his signature and mine -- same number at the top.

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"

Officer: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."

Lawyer: "What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"

Officer: "Aggressive and Hostile Sir."

Lawyer: "Aggressive and Hostile?"

Officer: "Yes Sir?

Lawyer: "Officer, Are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole?"

Officer: "Well Sir, you know your client better than I do!

1 Comment

4 years 40 weeks ago, 2:02 PM

runawaygun762

runawaygun762's picture

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Ah, "court talk"

I had a 113 pound female in handcuffs trying to kick me and bite my arms while waiting for a female patrol to arrive, and according to my statment, I placed her against the patrol car for her safety and mine. "Placing her against the patrol car" took the form of slamming her against the car three times until she became compliant. In the words of my mom, "If a woman puts herself in the place of a man, she should be treated like a man". My mom was also a bouncer.

"I have always been a soldier. I have known no other life. The calling of arms, I have followed from boyhood. I have never sought another." From The Virtues of War, by Steven Pressfield.
samD's picture
Posted by: samD
4 years 40 weeks ago
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402
Comments:
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