A TRIP TO COSTCO ---

A TRIP TO COSTCO ---

A TRIP TO COSTCO ---

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Samantha, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people.. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the day.

4 Comments

5 years 18 weeks ago, 10:55 AM

samD

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Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States

In the background is her arch nemisis, Sadie the black cat. Sadie chases her all over and then gets between Samantha and her dog door and won't let her out. Sadie is 14 yrs old and not a fang left in her head. Samantha just hasn't figured that out yet! LOL

5 years 18 weeks ago, 11:01 AM

Ebear

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Speaker of the House
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elgin, il, United States
samantha

has a very nice coat.....shiney

...check... G-AZ
5 years 18 weeks ago, 11:09 AM

samD

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Rank:
President
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Location:
Green Valley, Free State of Arizona, United States
Thank you ebear.

My wife makes her food for her. Boils a chicken with carrots, green beans & Parsley with a little salt & pepper. She shreds the chicken, no you can't have a burritto, then puts a couple of Tbsps on top of her IAMS dry food. Plus she and the cats have never had a flea, here in Arizona, cause it is too fucking hot for them...lol

5 years 18 weeks ago, 12:01 PM

daisycutter

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Rank:
General
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4739
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Jul 2009
Location:
Arkansas
Samantha,

Sam,
it cost me over $50 to rid one of my
rental houses of fleas
after they only lived there
5 months.
It's good to see an obviously well
mannered, clean and articulate Oops,
that is osama bin obama.
Samantha looks like the kind of
dog I could enjoy having around.

iyaoyas
samD's picture
Posted by: samD
5 years 18 weeks ago
Views:
769
Comments:
4

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