Wal Marts new Diagnostic Computer

Wal Marts new Diagnostic Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like the dickens!! I guess I'd better see a
doctor.'

'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
10 seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and
Epsom salts found on aisle 2. Avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks.. Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart.'

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10,
pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a watersoftener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart

2 Comments

4 years 25 weeks ago, 4:46 PM

Anonymous

SamD.

Thats hilarious! This above and the 100 MPH goat story made me laugh till I cant breath. Great one samD.

4 years 25 weeks ago, 8:46 PM

zx12rmike

zx12rmike's picture

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That's funny, and waaaaay too smart for a Wally World joke

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home" Thomas Jefferson
samD's picture
Posted by: samD
4 years 25 weeks ago
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