WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY!

WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY!

* A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
* Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
* We can open all our own jars
* Phone conversations last 30 seconds
* We know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
* Old friends don't care if we've lost or gained
weight
* When surfing channels, we don't have to stop on
every shot of someone crying
* Our last name stays put.
* We can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
* We can kill our own food.
* The garage is all ours.
* We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* We see the humor in "Terms of Endearment".
* We never have to clean the toilet.
* We can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
* If someone forgets to invite us to something, they can still be our friend.
* Our underwear costs $6.50 for a pack of 3.
* None of our co-workers have the power to make us cry.
* We don't have to shave below our neck.
* If we're 34 and single, no one notices.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* Where and when we pee doesn't effect our emotional well-being.
* We can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
* Flowers & duct tape - and we can fix everything.
* We never have to worry about other's feelings.
* Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
* We can say anything and not worry about what people think.
* We can whip our shirt off on a hot day.
* Car mechanics tell us the truth.
* We don't give a flip if someone doesn't notice our new haircut.
* We can watch a game in silence for hours without our buddy thinking
He must be mad at me.
* One mood, all the time.
* We can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve ourselves to
look like him.
* Same work. More pay.
* Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
* Wedding dress; $2000, Tux rental; 100 bucks.
* We don't care if someone is talking behind our back.
* We don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's.
* If we retain water, it is in a canteen.
* The remote is all ours.
* We need not pretend we're "freshening up" to use the bathroom.
* We can go to the bathroom alone.
* If we don't call our buddy when we said we would, he won't tell our
friends I've changed.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, we might
become lifelong buddies.
* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
* If something mechanical didn't work, we can bash it with a hammer and
throw it across the room.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.

* We think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny.
Really funny!

More From Jeffashbyjr

3 Comments

5 years 21 weeks ago, 11:20 AM

Ebear

Ebear's picture

Rank:
Speaker of the House
Points:
8497
Join Date:
Jun 2008
Location:
elgin, il, United States
jeff

this is a keeper!!!!lolol

...check... G-AZ
5 years 21 weeks ago, 11:34 AM

manu2014

manu2014's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
926
Join Date:
Feb 2009
Location:
Raleigh
Good One Jeff

We can cut our own hair or it is only 8.50 at the barber shop.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Thoreau
5 years 21 weeks ago, 11:35 AM

HKBauer

HKBauer's picture

Rank:
Lieutenant General
Points:
1532
Join Date:
Jul 2010
Location:
United States
The last one

really got me laughing!

Jeffashbyjr's picture
Posted by: Jeffashbyjr
5 years 21 weeks ago
Views:
1,456
Comments:
3

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